“Second Childishness and Mere Oblivion”
July 30, 2009
Shakespeare wrote about the seven ages of man, in which he describes the human journey from helpless child to adult and back to helpless child again:
“…Infant, schoolboy, lover, soldier, justice, pantaloon, and second childhood, ‘sans teeth, sans eyes, sans taste, sans everything’”.
Anyone who has had to watch as their parents age knows how true this passage can be. And just as difficult as watching your parents age can be talking to them about it. No parent wants to show weakness in front of their child, or admit that they need help; and often their reluctance to talk is fueled by the fear that they’ll be “put away”, or have their freedom and independence taken from them. Adult children are reluctant to bring up the subject as well—they’re afraid of angering their parent, or sometimes their afraid of having their worst fears confirmed.
But ignoring the subject won’t make it go away, and waiting too long can be disastrous. The best way to talk to your parents about aging is to bring it up early, before fear and obstinance have set in. Having these discussions ahead of time prepares both parent and child for what may lie ahead, insures everybody is on the same page and that there are no surprises in store.
However, even with advance discussions and planning, it is likely that a few uncomfortable subjects will still come up. This article from Reader’s Digest has some advice on how to broach these difficult subjects (including the subject of estate planning), and even provides a few scripts to help get the conversation started. If you’re still uncomfortable, having a third party mediator can be helpful; a trusted doctor—or even your estate planning or elder law attorney—can be a calm voice of reason in deep emotional waters.
Talking Taxes Now Brings Big Savings Next April
July 29, 2009
Everyone knows that March and April are tax season, when everybody scrambles to get their taxes done, mailed off, and out of mind for the rest of the year; but according to this article from Reuters the taxes you pay in April can be significantly lower if you take the time to think about them now.
Author Linda Stern recommends mid-year as the best time to start thinking about your taxes because it gives you plenty of time to take advantage of various planning strategies and tax breaks, many of which she outlines in her article. Stern also points out that scheduling an appointment with your accountant in July—when accountants are not nearly as busy as March or April—means you’ll have more one-on-one time to strategize and discuss your financial situation.
Stern’s article is full of good advice and suggestions for saving on your taxes this year, but she forgets one important strategy: Creating your estate plan. Talking to a lawyer about your estate plan not only helps in understanding and organizing your finances, and protecting your assets for the future; but the money you spend in creating an estate plan can be tax deductable. Talk to your lawyer and accountant now about how you can protect—and save—your money in the future.
Medicaid Fact and Fallacy: Shouldn’t You Know the Truth?
July 28, 2009
Health Care is one of the Obama Administration’s pet projects, and ever since President Obama took office there has been a lot of media attention and speculation about the national health care system and what changes (for good or ill) may be in store. Of course, the backbone of our national health care program is Medicaid, known as “Medi-Cal” in California. It is funded by the state and federal governments, and managed by the states, Medicaid is “the United States health program for eligible individuals and families with low incomes and resources.”
Of course we’ve all heard about Medicaid, and most people know the very basics of what Medicaid is and what it does; but when questioned further, how many people actually know the difference between fact and fallacy? Do you know which services Medicaid will pay for? Or if Medicaid covers parents and their children? These questions and more are answered in this article from Kaiser Health News—Medicaid: True Or False? The article gives the opportunity to test your assumptions about Medicaid and improve your factual knowledge at the same time.
As the Baby-Boomer population ages, nursing home and elderly care is becoming the fastest-growing aspect of Medicaid. This means that we’re all likely to have to have dealings with Medicaid—either for ourselves or for someone we love—at some point in the future. Shouldn’t you know as much as you can about the program before that time comes? For more California specific information in an easy to understand format, download our firm’s “Consumer’s Guide To Medi-Cal Planning”.
Avoid Caregiver Burnout
July 27, 2009
Many of our clients provide care for elderly loved ones; some even providing constant, around the clock care. Care giving is a demanding, overwhelming, and often grossly under-appreciated job. In addition to giving up their own time and interests, caregivers have to watch someone they love slowly regress and lose the ability to do even the most basic of tasks. Often, the senior being cared for eventually loses their ability to even recognize the people around them… including the person giving constant loving care. For all of these reasons, it’s very common for caregivers to experience depression and fatigue… caregiver burnout.
According to this article in the New York Times, depression and burnout does not have to be the plight of all caregivers, especially if you know the symptoms and how to combat them. And the good news is that just about all the preventative strategies listed in the article are easy and readily available… the hard part for caregivers is valuing their own time and mental health enough to take advantage of them.
There is a saying that hardships shared are halved, and joys shared are doubled; this is as true of care giving as it is for anything else. Many caregivers are reluctant to ask for help, but sharing the burden could save you from caregiver burnout. Don’t be afraid to reach out.
More information about caregiver support and resources can be found at the following websites:
Answers to Frequently Asked Questions About Wills and Trusts
July 25, 2009
It is human nature to want to be as informed as possible before making big decisions, and although we all know how important it is, the decision to create an estate plan is a BIG one. Most people like to do a little research and asking around before putting themselves at the mercy of an unknown attorney, but in the case of estate planning, there is just so much to know and the final decision can seem daunting. The more research you do the more complicated it seems. In addition, it can be hard to know which research to trust when it seems everybody out there has an agenda.
This is why our firm would like to offer this article by the reliably agenda-free Associated Press: Will or Trust? Understanding the differences. The article is an excellent overview of the differences between a will and a trust, and why one or the other might be a better choice for you and your family. It also answers some frequently asked questions about wills, trusts, and estate planning in general.
Of course, each family and situation will be different, and laws vary from state to state, so although we hope you find this article helpful, we still urge you to speak to an estate planning attorney face-to-face before making your final decision.
Not All Healthcare Directives Are Created Equal
July 23, 2009
Google is getting into the healthcare industry. Google recently made it possible for individuals to store their healthcare records online through their Google Health Records Management Service, a move that has met with mixed reviews. Even more recently, Google Health has started offering another, similar, service: storage of your “end-of-life wishes” along with your healthcare records in their online database.
At first glance, this may seem like a great idea; what could be better than having your healthcare records and your end-of-life wishes stored in one easily accessible place? And Google does their best to make it easy for you to create an advanced directive with them as well. The problem is, not all advanced directives are created equal.
As important as it is to have an advanced healthcare directive, and to specify your wishes for your healthcare agent and your end-of-life care, it is just as important to do it the right way. First of all, each state has its own rules and regulations regarding the legality of your healthcare directive. Secondly, those laws have a tendency to change periodically, and if you aren’t going to be able to keep abreast of these changes you need to have an attorney who will. And last but not least, hospitals take their responsibility regarding patient privacy, the wishes of the patient, and the wishes of the family very seriously. Hospitals will often not talk to your agent or release information about your healthcare status unless you have a directive that complies with all the laws of your state AND you have a signed and updated HIPAA Authorization.
Before jumping on the “great deal” Google offers, talk to your attorney about your own healthcare directive and HIPAA Authorization. If you are determined to take advantage of the opportunity to put all of your healthcare documents online, rather than using Google’s “easy” forms, it might be a better idea to upload your own professionally created documents.
Sharing the Nest When Adult Children Fly Home
July 21, 2009
If you have adult children then you know that it’s more than just credit limits and investment accounts that have been affected by the slow economy; companies also are tightening their belts, and people of all ages are finding it harder to get (or keep) jobs. As a result, more and more adult children have been moving back in with their parents.
Of course every parent wants to do what’s best for their child, but Ruth Mantell of the Wall Street Journal writes in her article that in this case, being tough may be what’s best. This isn’t to say that you should refuse if your out-of-work child comes to your door asking for help, but that parents or grandparents need to do what’s necessary to protect themselves before they welcome their adult children back home. “With job losses continuing to mount, older Americans’ wallets are being stretched by their own children,” Mantell writes, but having your adult children back in your home can actually be a good experience for all—if you know what to expect and take the right steps first.
In her article Mantell offers five useful tips to help keep the peace and keep your finances secure, including suggestions such as making sure everyone knows who is boss (you as the homeowner), asking for household contributions (even if all your children can afford is a token financial contribution or a contribution of manual labor), and especially preserving your retirement plans at all costs.
Although the practice has fallen out of style, multi-generational households used to be the norm. It may not be the ideal situation today, but with the right communication, and with everybody on the same page, temporarily sharing the house with your adult children can be an acceptable—and maybe even rewarding—experience.
Who Needs An Estate Plan?
July 16, 2009
The recent unveiling of Michael Jackson’s will has brought up a lot of questions about wills, trusts, and estate planning: Why is his will so short? Does this mean it doesn’t work? Where is all his money going?
And then there’s the statement that makes any estate planning attorney shudder:
I guess trusts and estate plans are just for the rich.
Nothing could be further from the truth. Trusts and estate plans are for everybody. First of all, an estate plan describes the documents that dispose of your assets after you are gone. This may include nothing but a will and a healthcare directive, or it may include those documents plus a living trust, powers of attorney, modified beneficiary designations on insurance policies, retirement plans, annuities, and more. The size and intricacy of your estate plan can be as small or as large as you wish. It all depends on you and your attorney.
Secondly, revocable living trusts are useful to everybody, from the asset-poor young parents just starting out to the wealthy grandmother with enough property to give a house to every grandchild. This is because revocable living trusts are private and versatile documents that can be created to accommodate your unique situation, whatever it may be.
Those asset-poor young parents like the privacy of a trust–the fact that they can nominate a trustee to take charge of their finances for their minor children without everybody knowing who it is. They can also use a trust to set money aside for their children’s college fund, if that is important to them; or keep the family money in a singe trust for the benefit of all their children until each one has reached a certain age, when the inheritance can be divided up equally. And they can do this even if their only asset is the small house they just bought, or possibly a low-cost term insurance policy.
The wealthy grandmother likes a trust because she can leave an inheritance to her daughter, but keep it out of the hands of her daughter’s untrustworthy husband; or she can set aside a sum of money for each grandchild, to be used specifically for education, not fast cars. And the trust can encompass as many bank accounts, investments, or pieces of real estate as she likes.
Trusts and estate plans are essential and useful tools, not just for the rich and famous, but for everybody. Contact our office to find out what kind of estate plan can benefit your family.
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