Coping After the Death of a Spouse: A “To Do” List
October 16, 2011
Losing a spouse may be one of the most difficult life events that any of us have to deal with. A spouse is a parenting partner, a co-CFO, a best friend and a beloved soul mate. Losing the person who supports you in so many ways can create an emptiness which can be almost paralyzing.
This is why it’s so important after the death of a loved one to have the support you need to get through the detail-oriented and often emotionally draining probate process, which includes tasks such as sorting through a financial history, submitting legal documents to the probate court, contacting creditors and family members, and more. Some people have family or friends to help with these time-consuming tasks, others enlist the help of an estate planning or probate attorney, but one thing is clear: no one should do it alone.
Every family or couple will have a different experience with the probate process, but our firm would like to offer a basic list of universal “to-do” items to remember after the death of a spouse. We hope this will help give our readers a little bit of security during a very emotional and stressful time.
* Obtain multiple copies of the death certificate
* Gather any and all estate planning documents
* Contact an estate planning attorney. Even if you don’t plan to retain an attorney, a brief initial consultation can help you understand the task ahead and prevent you from skipping important steps
* Notify the person named as executor or trustee
* Notify the necessary institutions or agencies (the deceased’s employer, social security administration, insurance company, creditors, post office, etc.)
* Ultimately, you should remove your spouse’s name from all joint accounts or ventures, such as bank accounts, utility companies, credit card accounts, etc., but we recommend holding off on the co-owned bank accounts until you first consult with an estate planning or elder law attorney. Sometimes there are disclaimer provisions in your spouse’s trust or will which might be affected.
* Pay final bills
* Cancel accounts, subscriptions, etc.
Depending on your situation and location, there may be many more tasks to be done. Additionally, if you are serving as executor or trustee (as many spouse’s do) there will be a great number of administrative tasks to be performed in addition to the ones on this list. Under these circumstances even the strongest and most capable people can feel overwhelmed. Remember that you don’t have to go through the process alone.
Simple Steps Now Can Help Your Executor Later On
May 8, 2011
Being named as the executor of the estate of a deceased loved one comes with many challenges, including dealing with the probate system. But one of the most difficult (and least discussed) challenges is sorting through the plethora of paper and information that people collect over the course of a lifetime.
You can save your executor (and your family) time and money later by organizing your important documents and finances right now. If you’re not sure where to begin, or what information an executor would need to know, we’ve assembled a list of information and documents an executor might need quick and easy access to if anything were to happen to you:
- Instructions and letter to trustee: Contact information for your attorney and trustee(s), instructions on how to begin the process.
- Minor children: Information about your minor children, nearby guardians or relatives, medical and health insurance information.
- Personal Information: Birth and marriage certificates, passports, family, friends and contact people.
- Estate Planning Documents: Trust, wills, any amendments, personal property distribution memorandum.
- Employment/Business Information: Contact information for supervisors; client information if you are a small business owner.
- Real Estate and Tangible Property: Deed to your home, mortgage information, homeowners and fire insurance, vehicle records, artwork and antiques.
- Bank Accounts and Investments: Account numbers and locations, contact information.
- Monthly Expenses and Bills: A copy of one monthly statement for each.
- Information about recent Taxes
- Retirement Accounts/Government Benefits: Account numbers, beneficiary information.
- Life Insurance: Account numbers, beneficiary information, and copy of each policy
- Memorial and Burial/Cremation: Preferences, pre-paid arrangements, phone numbers.
- Memberships/Secured Accounts/Passwords
Once you are organized, keep your information in an accessible place and make your executor aware of the location. This simple act of organization will not only benefit you right now, it will save your family and your executor much time, money and frustration later on.
A Low-Pressure (And Fun) Way to Discuss Legacy and Estate Planning
January 11, 2011
The hardest part of legacy planning or estate planning isn’t necessarily choosing the right fiduciaries, or deciding how to distribute your wealth fairly among your loved ones… the hardest part of legacy planning or estate planning is often simply talking about it with family. In fact, having “The Discussion” can be such a daunting task that many families simply don’t do it, choosing instead to take their chances when the family patriarch or matriarch passes away and the succession plan is revealed.
But avoiding the subject isn’t going to do you or your family any favors. More family infighting takes place after a death than at any other time. After all, this is when loved ones are grieving and emotions are high, when the central family figure or peacemaker may no longer be with you, and seemingly unequal inheritance distributions can no longer be explained.
What if there was a way to have “The Discussion” before it was forced upon you? What if there was a way to make that legacy and estate planning discussion low-pressure and even fun? That is exactly what husband and wife psychologist team Carolyn Friend and James Weiner have done with their book and accompanying card game, The Legacy Conversation: the missing gem in wealth planning.
A review of the Conversation Starters card game in Forbes gives a more detailed description of the game, including 7 or so sample questions to get the juices flowing; obvious questions such as “What cherished possession might your family fight over?” to the not-so-obvious questions such as “Have you ever found wisdom in a song’s lyrics? Name that tune.” The point of the Conversation Starters is not merely to discuss the family legacy, but to get to know your family members better, enjoy each other, and perhaps even grow closer in the process.
If your family has been putting off the necessary discussion of succession and legacy planning, this might be just the game you need. Don’t be afraid to tackle the difficult subjects, you might find you enjoy them more than you expect. And when you’re ready, we’re here to help with the practical details and legal legwork.
The Ins and Outs of Incapacity
November 28, 2010
Most people think that having a trust is about controlling (to an extent) what happens to your assets after you die. This is true, but a trust actually has a much broader scope: a trust can also protect and provide for your loved ones—and more importantly, it can protect and provide for you—if you should ever become incapacitated.
In basic terms, incapacity means that you are no longer able to make decisions for yourself. Sometimes it is easy to determine incapacity: the person is in a coma or unconscious and obviously unable to make decisions. But sometimes it’s more difficult. What about whether or not a person is able to make rational decisions? What if someone is suffering from Alzheimer’s, Dementia, or even a severe mental illness… should that person be making important financial decisions?
It is important to include a definition of incapacity in your trust, because this one word carries a lot of weight. It is when you are incapacitated that your successor trustee will take over, when the agent nominated in your Healthcare Directive will get the authority to make health care decisions for you, and may also be the point in time when your financial Power of Attorney goes into effect. With so much hanging on a single word, it’s important to know exactly what that word means.
Every standard trust should have a definition of incapacity, as determined by a court of law pursuant to statutory definitions of incapacity. This essentially means that you are deemed incapacitated when a court of competent jurisdiction determines that you are unable to legally handle your own affairs. However, an alternative provision is also often included in trusts and companion legal documents, i.e. upon a written determination by your treating physician(s) that you can no longer handle your financial affairs competently. Many trusts require that this determination be made by two (2) phyicians, each providing a separate certification of incapacity. This requirement is fine if you are really concerned about relying upon only one medical opinion. However, in practice, we have found that there are often logistical problems in securing the written opinion of two physicians, especially if you are residing in a facility such as a nursing home. Usually, only one physician makes the rounds there, and securing an evaluation by another phyician is often difficult and impractical. Hence, we tend to prefer the requirement of only one (1) physcian for most plans that we prepare for seniors.
There are many reasons why you would want to have an option in your documents that provides an alternative to the court determination of incapacity. The primary reason is that court proceedings can be lengthy and expensive. While your agent may be spending days or weeks going through the legal process, your estate may be languishing and your trusee or financial agent may be powerless to take action on your behalf. Giving a licensed physician the power to determine your incapacity will likely circumvent the expense and lengthy delays often associated with the court process. Further, when we designate a physician, we generally prefer not to require that the decision be made by a specific individual, as that person may not be readily available or may no longer be your treating physician. Our recommendation: specify that such a decision may be made by your then current, treating physician if available and, if not, by an examing physician.
10 Phone Calls to Make After the Death of a Loved One
October 15, 2010
Take Action in the Face of Estate Tax Uncertainty
May 13, 2010
If you’ve been reading our blog regularly then you know that the 2010 estate tax repeal has caused no end of confusion and uncertainty; not only for those who have been dealing with probate and trust administration since the tax was first repealed, but also for those who are trying to think ahead and do the right thing for their spouses and children. Many people have come to the erroneous conclusion that they have no choice but to stand by and wait until the Washington politicians make up their minds about whether or not to restore the estate tax retroactively—but we’re here to tell you that you don’t have to wait to protect your assets and your family.
Forbes.com recently published an article entitled How to Protect Your Family From Estate Tax Uncertainty. This article suggests that there are a number of steps you can take right now to protect your heirs and your assets, even if you don’t know what changes lawmakers may enact tomorrow or 2 months from now. Their suggestions include everything from working with your estate planning attorney on contingency plans to account for anomalies such as no estate tax or minimum exemptions, to common sense action items such as taking the time now to track your cost basis for assets (to help your executor and heirs determine the change in value for tax purposes.) The Forbes article also suggests that some people may want to plan to save by giving—taking advantage of the gift tax exemption amounts. For more on a special technique involving the use of “Disclaimers” in the current estate tax climate, see Attorney Osofsky’s recently published article.
There are always steps you can take to ensure that your estate plan is up to date, our firm can be your compass and your guide; we can help your family prepare for whatever the future may have in store.
10 Tips for Potential (or Existing) Trustees
February 21, 2010
The creation of a trust and estate plan includes spending a certain amount of time choosing the people who will be your fiduciaries—the people who will carry out your wishes. One of the most important fiduciaries is your trustee, who is involved in just about every aspect of the administration of your trust. Most people choose someone close to them to serve as trustee: a best friend, son or daughter, brother or sister. Choosing someone who knows you and your family to serve in this role can be beneficial in many ways, but if that person doesn’t have a financial or legal background the responsibilities can be overwhelming!
If you want to give your trustee a head start (or if you’ve been nominated as a trustee and need a little help yourself) read more about “9 Do’s and 1 Don’t” of being a trustee. These suggestions will help a potential or new trustee better understand their responsibilities and the scope of the job to come. Advice such as #1, “Do read the trust document”; or #3, “Do keep the best interests of the beneficiaries in mind at all times” may seem obvious now, but it’s not always so clear when you’re beset by insistent and emotional relatives. The more technical tips such as #2, “Do create a checking account for the trust”; and #9, “Do file income tax returns for the trust” are invaluable starter-steps for someone who has never done this before.
But the most important tip to remember is the one don’t: #10, “Don’t fly solo. Get professional advice to make sure you are correctly fulfilling your role.” If you or the people you’ve chosen as your trustee are ever in doubt, please don’t hesitate to call our office for help.
Keeping Financial Stability After the Loss of Your Spouse
October 11, 2009
Losing a spouse is one of the most difficult experiences life has to offer. Even continuing to take one day at a time seems almost impossible when you’ve lost your partner, your mate, the love of your life. Many people who have lost a spouse describe feeling as though the rug has been pulled out from under their feet; they feel like a child again, having to re-learn how to interact in the world without their other half.
The emotional loss is only part of this confusion, especially if—like most partnerships—you and your spouse ran your household and finances with a division of labor, each partner taking on the responsibilities that they most enjoyed and were most suited to perform… this includes the financial responsibility. The emotional impact of losing a spouse is hard enough, but in today’s complex financial world what do you do if the spouse you’ve lost was the family “Chied Financial Officer” ?
The first and most important step, according to this article from the Chicago Tribune, is organization. Knowing what your bank balance is, what your expenses are, and where important documents are located is absolutely key to getting through the rough patches. The second step—and this one may be the hardest—is taking stock of your new financial situation and adjusting your lifestyle and spending. Losing a portion of your family’s income is a shock, and people often go through the motions of their previous lives because they simply can’t yet face the reality of their loss. In addition, death comes with its own set of expenses which can make a substantial dent in your savings.
If you feel you just don’t have the strength or focus to deal with financial issues immediately following the death of your spouse, ask someone to help you temporarily. Eventually, when the grieving process has run its course, you will surface again; and when that happens you don’t want to find that the life you knew has been buried under debt.
