Blended Families Bring Unique Challenges for Caregivers
August 30, 2009
A recent study about how divorce may affect your health has been making the rounds in the news sources lately. This article discusses how the added stress of divorce, family upheaval, and tighter finances can be so detrimental to your health that the effects can last years into the future. Because our firm works frequently to help divorced or remarrying couples update their estate plans to protect their new blended families this article sparked our interest. But what was even more interesting was this recent post by Paula Span about the effects divorce can have 20 or 30 years down the road—not just on the couple but on their grown children now acting as caregivers.
According to Ms. Span, adult children of aging parents often find themselves caring not only for mom and dad but also for stepmom, stepdad and sometimes even another stepparent from yet a third (and current) marriage. Dividing time (and often finances) between so many parents with new and special needs can quickly take its toll, as can the family politics that come with adult siblings, half siblings, and step siblings. “It adds another layer of complexity to an already complex and emotional situation.”
With all of this complexity and intermingling family ties, it is more important than ever to have conversations about estate planning and long-term care with parents and siblings before mom and dad (and stepmom and stepdad) get to an age where they need in home or around the clock nursing care. A good estate plan can eliminate much potential fighting and confusion by clearly defining who will be making financial decisions and who should be making health care decisions when mom or dad become incapacitated. And a caregiver agreement can provide financial assistance to the one sibling who inevitably ends up shouldering most of the care giving burden, and at the same time help to reduce any potential resentment.
If you are a part of a blended family don’t wait for time to take its toll; talk to your parents and siblings now about any challenges the future may bring—and discuss how to meet those challenges together.
Caregiver Agreements Reduce the Burden of Caring for Elderly Family Members
January 21, 2009
Anyone serving as a caregiver for an aging relative knows that it’s hard work no matter how much you love the person to whom you are providing care and service, and in many cases it can be a severe financial hardship as well. Studies have shown that the child who serves as the primary caregiver for aging parents can lose over $500,000 over a lifetime in reduced salary and retirement benefits!
What many caregivers (and recipients) do not know is that you can care for the one you love AND avoid sacrificing your financial well-being by executing a caregiver agreement. Caregiver agreements are nothing new, but according to this article in the Wall Street Journal “we expect the deteriorating economy to lead to a spike in caregiver agreement work.” This is good news, because caregiver agreements come with a number of benefits, not the least of which is that money given to a son or daughter under a caregiver agreement is not considered by the government to be “a gift” when an elderly person is trying to qualify for Medi-Cal, Medicaid, or other public benefits. However, the agreement must be in writing. It may also reduce resentment among siblings where, for example, one is rendering “all of the care” for mom.
Executing a caregiver agreement can be a HUGE benefit to your family, but you must make sure it’s done correctly. These agreements are legal contracts, and should include details such as the cost of services, the duties the caregiver will be performing. There should also be in place a medical and/or financial power of attorney, if making decisions will be part of the caregiving duties.
And all contracts must, must, must be executed in advance of receiving compensation. “You can’t do the contract after the fact and say this $100,000 was for looking after mom.”
If you would like more information about caregiver agreements, please contact our office. Whether you are the care provider or recipient, we can help make the caregiving process a little bit easier on you and your family.
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