Andrew Chan has written a short article for the Boston Globe in which he lists 13 significant life events that should have you reaching for the phone to call your attorney. To go to the article and read his list click here. To Mr. Chan’s list we would add just a few more life events that could have an effect on your estate plan:

The approaching need  to rely upon assistive living care from caregivers in the home, assisted living or nursing facility.

Concerns about the decline in cognitive mental abilities of yourself or your spouse.

A change in residence—especially if you move to a new state.

Children or grandchildren turning 18 or graduating from college—this may or may not change your estate plan, but at the very least your young adults will now need their own health care directives and privacy forms.

If you anticipate one of your relatives or heirs disagreeing with your wishes and challenging your will, trust or overall estate plan.

There are of course a great number of things which could impact your estate plan, not all of which can be named in one article or blog post; but if you stay aware—and stay in touch with your estate planner—you can rest easy that your plan will continue to function exactly as you intend.

There are three major things to consider when estate planning during or after a divorce:

1. Guardianship
2. Financial inheritance
3. Remarriage

Guardianship: According to the law, if you pass away guardianship passes to your child’s other biological parent; this is the case even if you had full custody (unless it is determined that the surviving parent is unfit). This is something to keep in mind when you are nominating guardians. If you and your ex can sit down and discuss guardians together and agree on a few alternates it will make everyone (including your child) feel more secure about the future.

Financial Inheritance: Although many divorced couples may feel comfortable with their ex as guardian, most are dead set against their ex having any control over their finances. How then can you leave your estate for the benefit of your child without leaving it in the hands of your ex? The solution is to put your child’s inheritance in trust until they come of age, with a person you know and trust acting as trustee. Your trustee will have the responsibility to keep and maintain the trust, giving distributions to the guardian for the benefit of your child. Keep in mind that your trustee and guardian will have to work together quite often, if you and your ex can agree on someone with whom you both are comfortable it will make the process much easier on your trustee, your ex, and your child.

Remarriage: When you marry there is an inevitable mingling of finances, and this is no different for a second or third marriage. However, if you don’t make provisions for your children in your estate plan your assets may end up going to your new spouse when you die, leaving your child(ren) out in the cold. This can be easily addressed in your estate plan (or your ex’s estate plan, if he or she is the one getting remarried) as long as you talk to your attorney and take action now, before it’s too late.

If you are going through or have gone through a divorce you should have your estate planning attorney review your estate plan.

According to Ms. Span, adult children of aging parents often find themselves caring not only for mom and dad but also for stepmom, stepdad and sometimes even another stepparent from yet a third (and current) marriage. Dividing time (and often finances) between so many parents with new and special needs can quickly take its toll, as can the family politics that come with adult siblings, half siblings, and step siblings. “It adds another layer of complexity to an already complex and emotional situation.”

With all of this complexity and intermingling family ties, it is more important than ever to have conversations about estate planning and long-term care with parents and siblings before mom and dad (and stepmom and stepdad) get to an age where they need in home or around the clock nursing care. A good estate plan can eliminate much potential fighting and confusion by clearly defining who will be making financial decisions and who should be making health care decisions when mom or dad become incapacitated. And a caregiver agreement can provide financial assistance to the one sibling who inevitably ends up shouldering most of the care giving burden, and at the same time help to reduce any potential resentment.

If you are a part of a blended family don’t wait for time to take its toll; talk to your parents and siblings now about any challenges the future may bring—and discuss how to meet those challenges together.

“If the couple first exhausts all their remaining assets, then Medicaid will cover nursing care. And if Sheehy, in her late 60s, wasn’t willing to give up all her assets and income?

‘Then, you need to divorce him,’ the geriatric care manager told her.”

It seems that at a time when couples most need the health, security, and emotional support that come from a loving spouse, they learn that they may not be able to afford to be married!

But the difficulties don’t end there. The U.S. News & World Report article above shows that a “policy of pauperization” is only part of what’s wrong with our long-term healthcare system. Poorly trained caregivers, piecemeal medical treatment—these and more are what await you if you’re a middle-class aging American.

So when you’re investigating how to protect your assets and your future with an estate plan, be sure to find out how you can achieve the same goals in the event that you need long-term care as well.