The idea that where you live is an important part of who you are doesn’t diminish as you get older—in fact, the longer you’ve lived in a place the more it seems to become a part of who you are, and vice-versa—so it’s no wonder that seniors are as choosy about where they live as any of the rest of us. What follows are some of the options for senior living arrangements. What you and your loved one will choose will depend on health, finances, community support, and of course—your family.

Most seniors would prefer to stay in the home they’ve known and loved. A senior or retirement community may look perfectly nice to a son or daughter; but mom or dad may see the retirement community as a first step toward losing their independence and being forgotten. Many senior citizens can stay in their homes for quite some time so long as they have the support of family and community and perhaps the help of an in-home caregiver.

Another option for housing is a senior or retirement community. These are often independent communities which provide age-segregated living opportunities for seniors who are still active. They usually provide social activities, regular transportation around town, and some personal care or nursing services. These communities can be the perfect solution for a still active senior who is unable to drive anymore, but be very cautious when choosing a community; with no regulation or governing body the non-social services they provide can be suspect.

A nursing home is the most drastic option for senior living, and is usually reserved for chronically ill people who need medical care and regulation in addition to help with the most basic of daily tasks. The decision to use a nursing home is a difficult and emotional one, and should not be put off to the last minute. Not only because nursing homes are expensive, and require as much advance financial planning as possible, but also because finding the right nursing facility for your loved one can take time.

Whatever housing option you are looking for, don’t be afraid to ask for professional help or advice. A Geriatric Care Manager, Elder Care Support Services, or an Estate Planning or Elder Law Attorney can help your family make and implement this tough decision.

There are many knowledgeable elder care experts out there: doctors, lawyers, social workers; but few of them can straddle ALL of the elder care issues (medical, legal, residential, financial) to help you look at the big picture. A geriatric care manager is someone who can do just that—look at any given situation from all angles and advise your elder care team on the big picture. This article in the New York Times describes geriatric care managers as assessors, counselors, mediators… and sometimes someone to play “bad cop” in a tough situation.

Of course, because most insurance companies won’t yet pay for the services of a geriatric care manager, hiring one is going to be an extra expense; but it is the business of a GCM to know the ins and outs of the elder care system, and the money they save your family by helping you research experts and options, and avoiding bad situations can more than make up for the expense.

A geriatric care manager cannot replace a doctor or a lawyer on your elder care team, but they can help all of the team players work together effectively toward a common goal: ensuring that your loved one is well taken care of in the best situation possible.

To ease the transition, and to assure all involved that grandma will be well cared for, many families are opting to hire a Geriatric Care Manager.  Traditionally (although Geriatric Care Management is an emerging field, so the term must be used lightly) GCMs have been a resource for seniors and their families; someone on the inside who knows the system and can help navigate, finding the best care and services for each individual situation.  But some families are now asking the GCM to continue advising the family even after grandma has settled into the nursing home, to ensure that their loved one continues to receive the best care possible. At the very least the GCM may recommend hiring a professional caregiver to check in with grandma at the nursing home daily or weekly, to observe the quality of care she is receiving and keep family members informed.

If you are interested in learning more, or if you’d like to find a Geriatric Care Manager in your area, go to the National Association of Professional Geriatric Care Managers online. And if you are someone who doesn’t need a GCM quite yet, but would like your family to have help navigating the confusing field of nursing care when the time comes, call your attorney and ask to include a mention of it in your estate planning documents or other instructions.  Also, let your loved ones know of this option and your desire to use it.

Knowing you are not alone, and having help from someone on the inside, can bring a world of comfort to you and your family.