Making Room For Mom & Dad: Checklist For The “Multi-Generational Household”
April 8, 2011
Throughout history, the multi-generational household has always had its place in our society. At times the multi-generational family has been common and plentiful, at other times rare and seen only on the fringes of society. In the past few years, for reasons of both economy and practicality, the percentage of Americans living in multi-generational households has been steadily rising. In fact, a recent article in the Wall Street Journal states that “In 2008, a record 49 million Americans, or 16.1% of the population, lived in households with at least two adult generations or a grandparent plus one other generation, according to the nonprofit Pew Research Center in Washington. That is up 17% from 2000.”
Although multi-generational living had fallen out of fashion in the decades prior to this, there are a number of reasons why inviting elderly parents to live with you can benefit the entire family. “By living together, families say they are better able to meet one another’s needs for child and elder care. Moreover, money saved on rent can help finance a graduate degree, a job search or a down payment on a house, or offset the costs of long-term care.”
But setting up housekeeping with your parents (or your kids) isn’t as simple as merely moving furniture, often there are financial—or even legal—details to be worked out. Here are some of the things you should discuss before you build the “in-law extension” in your home:
Will the situation be permanent or temporary? Whether your kids are moving back in until they find that dream job, or your parents are coming to live with you until they find the right retirement community, it’s important to discuss these goals and practical steps that will be taken to reach them. “Those who prefer a temporary arrangement should work out an exit strategy—for example, by estimating how long it will take a person experiencing financial problems to regain his or her footing.”
Will the “new tenants” pay rent, or make any other contribution to household expenses? If so, it is absolutely imperative to work out a rental agreement before hand. Also, the “landlord” will need to ascertain whether the rent they collect should be reported to the IRS as income. “Some landlords simply aim to cover the extra expenses they incur. In that case, they owe no taxes on the payments they receive, ” according to the source quoted in the article.
If two generations are looking to purchase a new property together, there are completely different details to be considered. “When generations join forces to purchase or modify a property, each should retain an advisor to review the tax and estate-planning consequences and protect their investment in the event the union dissolves.” Additionally, “joint ownership can pose problems for those who may need to rely on Medicaid to cover future nursing-home costs.” It is a good idea to consult with an elder law attorney before signing any contracts.
There are many benefits to living in a multi-generational household, but even with all these benefits it is hardly an agreement to be entered into lightly. Families considering taking this step should discuss it not only with the entire family, but with their financial and legal advisors.
Long-Term Care; Be Prepared in an Area of Uncertain Options
February 17, 2011
It’s flu season again, and the strain going around this year has been a difficult one, mainly because of how long it keeps its victims out of commission. So the article we recently found on Time.com about Long-Term Care seems particularly timely and relevant, if only because this year’s flu could be seen as an omen of what’s to come as Baby Boomers age into their golden years.
According to the article, “A huge wave of baby boomers may need long-term care in their golden years — and yet fewer than half have taken steps to prepare for it… two-thirds of Americans believe it’s important to plan for long-term care, but only 44% have taken steps to protect themselves.” Part of the reason for this lack of preparedness is that Baby Boomers underestimate the likelihood that they’ll need long-term care, or they overestimate the likelihood that their children or families will be able (or willing) to provide that care.
But there’s another reason why Baby Boomers are statistically unprepared for the crisis of old age; to put it simply, there aren’t any clear avenues to solid and reliable financial preparedness. “While it’s clear that not enough people are thinking about preparing for their long-term-care needs, it’s not at all clear what, if any, the best solutions are.”
Some think that extra savings in the bank will cover the cost of long-term care; others believe that government programs such as Medi-Cal or Medicare will take care of them. Unfortunately, both of these beliefs are mistaken. “The average cost of a nursing home ranges from $85,000 to $120,000 a year, while hiring an aide to spend six hours a day on average in the home starts around $40,000 a year… Medicare, meanwhile, only covers up to 100 days of long-term care and often involves co-payments. Medicaid [Medi-Cal in California]will cover long-term nursing-home care but only after the person has drained his or her savings account.”
Another solution is long-term care insurance; but even with long-term care insurance, nothing is clear cut, and too many people have found themselves paying into a policy and ending up with no return on their investment. You also need to be healthy enough to qualify for the policy. Long-term care insurance is still one of the best options out there, but “There have been horror stories of people paying premiums on long-term-care insurance policies for years, only to find the benefits won’t cover their needs 20 or 30 years down the road when health care and long-term-care costs are significantly higher.”
Another option may be Medi-Cal for those who need nursing level care. Our firm has been a leader in assisting clients with qualification, and with helping them plan their estates to enable qualification when need later arises. There are many myths associated with Medi-Cal. For more information, we invite you to download a free copy of our “Consumer’s Guide To Medi-Cal Planning“.
The best advice we can give is to do your research and ask for the help of an advisor with experience in elder law, elder care, and senior financial planning. Be prepared.
Making Plans for Aging at Home
January 24, 2011
There used to be very few options for seniors who began to have trouble living on their own. In many cases the only options available were to move in with family or move into a nursing home. Now, however, that doesn’t have to be the case. With new advancements in technology, the help of family and local aging services, and with some planning and forethought, many seniors will be able to live at home and on their own for many years. Here are a few things to consider right now if you want to age at home in the future:
Support System- Do you have family or friends nearby who can check on you regularly and help when home maintenance issues crop up? Having someone close to you who can provide you with transportation is helpful as well, although many cities have public transportation services that may be an option.
Home Renovations- Is your home senior or handicap friendly? Are doorways and hallways wide enough to accommodate a wheelchair? Could you easily add ramps or lifts in place of stairs, if necessary? Do your kitchen and bathrooms facilitate easy maneuverability with as little reaching or bending over as possible?
Security or Medical Alert System- Having a security or medical alert system in place can provide immeasurable comfort to an elderly homeowner and his or her family. The technology for this is improving by leaps and bounds, and there are a number of different options available.
In-Home Care Services- The length of time you can remain in your home can be greatly increased if you have the financial means for (and access to) quality in-home care services. Someone to do basic cleaning and cooking, and help with daily activities, can prolong your time spent at home… but you have to plan for it.
Getting older shouldn’t mean you have to give up your home, your friends and neighbors, or your independence. For more information about what you may need to stay in your home as you age check out the website for the National Aging In Place Council.
Will Long-Term Care Living Arrangements Prevent You from Leaving an Inheritance?
August 16, 2010
In our last post we wrote about what matters most when choosing a long-term care living situation, suggesting that it’s not always the place that matters most, but the mind-set of the elderly person who will be living there, and how involved that person is in the decision-making process. However, this does not mean that the quality of each living place doesn’t matter at all. In fact, according to the Wall Street Journal great care should still be taken when selecting a long-term care living situation… especially if you’re considering a Continuing Care Retirement Community (CCRC).
If you are considering a CCRC for yourself or an elderly loved one, you may want to read this article in the WSJ, which mentions that although more and more older Americans are drawn to the benefits offered by a Continuing Care Retirement Community, those benefits “often come at a steep price and ‘considerable risk.’”
The article goes on to mention that “So-called CCRCs—which typically offer fine dining, health clubs and on-site long-term care—have grown in popularity along with the aging of the population, particularly among the upper-middle class and affluent,” but that “the economic downturn is making it tougher for potential new residents to sell their existing homes and fill openings in new and expanded communities, which are generally regulated by state governments. As a result, low occupancy levels are challenging the industry’s financial models.”
We mention this because many of our clients are at a time in their lives when they or their elderly parents are looking into long-term care living situations, and we see how difficult it is to sort through all the choices and find a place that fits. Not only is quality of life an important factor (maybe the most important factor), but for many people the cost of the place they choose may mean the difference between leaving their children an inheritance and dying penniless.
We urge any of our readers who are in the market for long-term care living arrangements to look carefully at all their options; ask questions, do the research, and don’t be afraid to ask for help or a second opinion.
The Next Step In Elderly Home Care
August 6, 2010
Many adult children of an aging parent get to a point in their parent’s care where they feel they have only two options: move their parent in with them so that they (or their spouse) can provide around-the-clock care, or move their parent into a nursing home. Reaching this point can be a very emotional time for both parent and child; with the parent feeling anger and frustration at the loss of independence, and the child feeling that they have somehow failed their parent.
Improving technology may never be able to remove the need for this decision entirely, but it may be able to postpone it a little. A recent article in the New York Times describes some new technologies that help adult children monitor their aging parent right inside the home, therefore removing the need (or at least delaying the need) for physical around-the-clock supervision.
One of the new technologies mentioned in the article (called GrandCare) “allows families to place movement sensors throughout a house. Information — about when doors were opened, what time a person got into and out of bed, whether there’s been any movement in a room for a certain time period — is sent out via e-mail, text message or voice mail.” It is this kind of in-home monitoring that may allow seniors to remain in their homes longer.
Some seniors have reservations about these new technologies, however, something that they consider to be an invasion of privacy. Nancy Schlossberg is quoted in the article as comparing these new technologies to nanny-cams, “Big Brother is watching you — there’s something about it that’s very offensive.” Some seniors may agree with her, but if it comes down to a choice between technological monitoring or moving to a nursing home they may find that “Big Brother” is the lesser of two evils.
Geriatric Care Managers Provide Help for Families and Caregivers
October 14, 2009
Caring for elderly relatives is always a team effort. Sometimes the team consists of the entire family, sometimes the team is a man and wife, and sometimes the team consists solely of the elderly person and their primary caregiver; but no matter how you look at it, elder care is a complex, difficult, and expensive job, and one made 10 times easier if you have a knowledgeable and trustworthy expert on your team.
There are many knowledgeable elder care experts out there: doctors, lawyers, social workers; but few of them can straddle ALL of the elder care issues (medical, legal, residential, financial) to help you look at the big picture. A geriatric care manager is someone who can do just that—look at any given situation from all angles and advise your elder care team on the big picture. This article in the New York Times describes geriatric care managers as assessors, counselors, mediators… and sometimes someone to play “bad cop” in a tough situation.
Of course, because most insurance companies won’t yet pay for the services of a geriatric care manager, hiring one is going to be an extra expense; but it is the business of a GCM to know the ins and outs of the elder care system, and the money they save your family by helping you research experts and options, and avoiding bad situations can more than make up for the expense.
A geriatric care manager cannot replace a doctor or a lawyer on your elder care team, but they can help all of the team players work together effectively toward a common goal: ensuring that your loved one is well taken care of in the best situation possible.
“Second Childishness and Mere Oblivion”
July 30, 2009
Shakespeare wrote about the seven ages of man, in which he describes the human journey from helpless child to adult and back to helpless child again:
“…Infant, schoolboy, lover, soldier, justice, pantaloon, and second childhood, ‘sans teeth, sans eyes, sans taste, sans everything’”.
Anyone who has had to watch as their parents age knows how true this passage can be. And just as difficult as watching your parents age can be talking to them about it. No parent wants to show weakness in front of their child, or admit that they need help; and often their reluctance to talk is fueled by the fear that they’ll be “put away”, or have their freedom and independence taken from them. Adult children are reluctant to bring up the subject as well—they’re afraid of angering their parent, or sometimes their afraid of having their worst fears confirmed.
But ignoring the subject won’t make it go away, and waiting too long can be disastrous. The best way to talk to your parents about aging is to bring it up early, before fear and obstinance have set in. Having these discussions ahead of time prepares both parent and child for what may lie ahead, insures everybody is on the same page and that there are no surprises in store.
However, even with advance discussions and planning, it is likely that a few uncomfortable subjects will still come up. This article from Reader’s Digest has some advice on how to broach these difficult subjects (including the subject of estate planning), and even provides a few scripts to help get the conversation started. If you’re still uncomfortable, having a third party mediator can be helpful; a trusted doctor—or even your estate planning or elder law attorney—can be a calm voice of reason in deep emotional waters.
There’s No Place Like Home
June 11, 2009
The decision to place a loved one in a nursing home (or the decision to leave your own home and move to a nursing facility, if you are making the decision yourself) can be one of the most difficult and harrowing decisions we ever make. Stories about disreputable facilities where seniors are neglected or abused are all too common, and even if months of searching lead to the discovery of “the perfect” care facility—the shining grain of wheat among the chaff—it’s normal to be apprehensive about exchanging the comfort and independence of home for the unknown in the hands of strangers on the nursing staff. This feeling is magnified if the senior being moved is essentially alone, with the next generation of friends and family scattered across the country.
To ease the transition, and to assure all involved that grandma will be well cared for, many families are opting to hire a Geriatric Care Manager. Traditionally (although Geriatric Care Management is an emerging field, so the term must be used lightly) GCMs have been a resource for seniors and their families; someone on the inside who knows the system and can help navigate, finding the best care and services for each individual situation. But some families are now asking the GCM to continue advising the family even after grandma has settled into the nursing home, to ensure that their loved one continues to receive the best care possible. At the very least the GCM may recommend hiring a professional caregiver to check in with grandma at the nursing home daily or weekly, to observe the quality of care she is receiving and keep family members informed.
If you are interested in learning more, or if you’d like to find a Geriatric Care Manager in your area, go to the National Association of Professional Geriatric Care Managers online. And if you are someone who doesn’t need a GCM quite yet, but would like your family to have help navigating the confusing field of nursing care when the time comes, call your attorney and ask to include a mention of it in your estate planning documents or other instructions. Also, let your loved ones know of this option and your desire to use it.
Knowing you are not alone, and having help from someone on the inside, can bring a world of comfort to you and your family.
Jinies.com